We won't sleep together?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
