I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
