Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
