i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
