therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize