Can Purell be used as lube?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize