she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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