Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
