Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
