Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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