if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
