I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
