I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
