Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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