im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
