Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
