You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
