paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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