You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Can I color on your dick again?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
