like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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