i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
