Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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