I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
