I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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