ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
