Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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