He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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