I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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