Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
