I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
