one might say we're banned from that church
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
