you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
