This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
