At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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