You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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