Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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