so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
