I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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