That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
