Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
