Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
