I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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