I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
