This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
