So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
