All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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