i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nutella sex= disaster
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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