Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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