he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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