I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
