i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
