I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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