dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
