i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Pooping to opera.
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