blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
