Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my shit smells like andre
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
