evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
