I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need a beard to bite.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize