Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
