are you still at the devil's house?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
