Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
