Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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