she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
