3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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